Natatakot ako.

Masyado na ata akong nasanay sa dati kong relasyon at masyado akong natatakot magkamali. Tangina naman kasi masyadong akong clingy. Pero kasi namin clingy din yung dati kong karelasyon kaya okay lang pero yung sa ngayon, totoo nga yung kinatatakutan ko. Masyado akong nag-ooverthink. Iba siya eh.

Hindi siya yung tipong mag-uusap kayo buong araw. Yung tipong may sariling mundo at okay sa kanya yung isang araw hindi kayo mag-uusap pero sa akin hindi o baka kasi kailangan ko lang lagi ng constant attention at feeling ko ngayon na MU na kami lagi na ako may kausap. Putangina namimiss ko lang ata yung feeling na may mapagsasabihan ka ng araw mo, kahit gaano kawalang kwenta. Masaya kaya yun. Masyado ako nag-ooverthink. Pati sa mga kaibigan ko. Natatakot ako mag-share. 

Tangina ayoko na.

it has been so long since my last activity here in tumblr

i honestly miss the times when I would use it just to pour out my emotions and let go of every bad feeling I have thru writing. Honestly I have been a messed for the past few months. We broke up and I would normally say that it was entirely my fault but I know it’s not. I was never perfect but so is he. Maybe he doesn’t realize it but we did not start completely with a healthy relationship and we carried it off until college. We would always fight and I would sometimes feel being emotionally abused because I felt that he projects to me every hate he has. But I wasn’t able to let go of the relationship because I am afraid of being alone and became dependent on him. 

i know it’s wrong to say this but I’m happy I broke up with him. I became more of a mess but I am on my own now and i felt all those things I have been missing all those years where I became too focused on us. I would still break down on some days. I would still always stalk him but I was able to control myself for the past few days and I’m glad on making even that small progress. I have learned that not everyone who said they will be there for you would do so. I learned to distant myself from my highschool friends for a while now because they became closer to him and I cannot control that. I would just wish they would ask how I was for a while now. 

i think the problem is it is so easy to say i miss you to someone but they don’t translate it into actions or even make me feel that it’s true. My highschool friends would say that they miss me but they are so happy with him. 

i also think that I began on clinging to other people for attention and wanting someone to like me because I became so sad from having no one to constantly talk to anymore. Dependency nga. 

i’m slowly growing but I felt that the progress I built would often so fall down on other times and I have to built it again but I will not give up. Happiness is a choice and I really believe on myself!!

cumberbitchacha:

i don’t just ship it
i luxury cruise that shit